The Clueless Husband
Whether it’s an anniversary, birthday, Christmas or another special occasion, most men have found themselves stumped when it comes to giving gifts to their wives. Often before Valentine’s Day, you can find men sifting through the aisles of any given department store, clueless and clearly out of their element.
Every wife has received that ‘oh so dreaded gift’ without knowing quite how to respond. I for one don’t want to offend my husband, but as I stare at the new Hoover vacuum that he purchased lovingly for me, I can’t help but dream about something a little more romantic and special.
Gifts to Never Get Your Wife
1. Clothes that DON’T fit. Whether the clothes are too small or too big either way can be offensive to your wife. If they are too big- you think we are fat, and if they are too small- you think we should wear a smaller size…get my drift? Be smart and don’t do it.
2. Cleaning devices. Sure we appreciate the new vacuum, but in no way should it be a gift for a special occasion. Women want to feel special, not like the house cleaner. We want to be viewed as your adored, sexy wife, and somehow a new vacuum or steam cleaner (regardless of how practical it is) just doesn’t do that for us.
3. Bad smelling perfume. Be careful when it comes to scents and really pay attention to what your wife likes. If the perfume smells like your mother (or grandmother) , chances are your wife isn’t going to like it. Don’t spend the money if you aren’t sure she will like the scent.
4. Something you secretly want. You may think that she will love that new tool bench or laptop, but get a clue. No matter how much you are convinced she may enjoy it, she doesn’t want something that you will enjoy more than her. That makes the gift feel like it’s for you, and not her, so steer clear of that.
5. Money. Nothing says “I’m too lazy and unromantic to pick you out a gift” than money. Women already do enough taking care of you, so take the time to take care of her and pick her out something special.
6. Bath stuff. Sure it can be a good gift, if you are getting it from your mother-in-law or your secret Santa at work, but this gift loses points when it comes from your spouse.
7. Movies. I have a friend who loves Disney movies; her husband bought her The Lion King for Valentine’s Day. Sure she loves the movie, but it was the wrong occasion. Now if you must buy a movie, think of something romantic, that the two of you can watch together.
8. Gym membership or workout DVD. This really should need no explanation. Sure your wife may have mentioned wanting a certain workout DVD or a membership for the gym, but in no way should this be a gift for a special time. Instead pick a gift to show her that you adore her just the way she is.
9. A stripper pole. Unless you met your wife in a place where she used this in her line of work…..don’t even think about this.
10. An excuse. One of my good friend’s husband decided to get her NOTHING for her birthday, to even go a step further he kindly explained to her that the tennis bracelet she saw in the jewelry store window was far more than SHE would have wanted him to spend. The only thing worse than actually getting her nothing is the excuse.
11. A big flat screen TV. Women don’t need a big huge TV to watch their shows on. Men want it to watch sports. However, seeing Channing Tatum on a larger screen wouldn’t be a horrible thing, but the TV is usually a gift for you. So if you need more explanation on this one refer to number 4.
12. A gift certificate for the spa. This one actually isn’t a horrible gift, in fact in can be quite romantic. However, most men don’t think of the preparation that it takes woman to actually use this gift. Calling to make the appointment and getting a babysitter often feels like more hassle than it’s worth. So, if you are going to buy this gift go the extra mile and make it worth it for her and make all the arrangements before you give it to her.
13. Fake Jewelry. If you can’t afford the real thing, we understand, but don’t buy us something fake and try and pretend it’s real.
14. An I.O.U. If you get your wife an I.O.U. for a gift you can expect to get an I.O.U. when it comes to time alone with her in the bedroom.
Put Some Thought Into It
Be wise about what you purchase for your wife or fuck buddy, and keep away from the gifts listed above. Woman want to feel special and cared for and you will get the same treatment in return, so be a smart man and get her something she is worthy of.
A big thank you to all the women who helped with this article. You are truly amazing and deserve the very best gifts from your husbands!