I have been very fortunate to sleep around extensively while still young. I have slept with most of the continental United States, plus many cities in Alaska and Hawaii. Okay, okay, so some of that isn’t true but, there are other ways to expand your horizons when you’re young other than traveling the world. I’m a firm believer in the idea that sleeping around is an excellent way to spend your time and that you’ll probably never look back and regret many of those nights – unless you spend the night with a Greek guy who got all his ‘moves’ from bad porn films. Slapping my boobs? No. Just no. A friend once told me that you shouldn’t even consider settling down until your number was at least 50. I think that might have been some of the best advice I ever received.
Let me explain.
1. Sleeping around helps you chill out
I’m not talking about a post-coital buzz here (although that should never be underrated), but the fact that regular sex does help you approach life with a more relaxed attitude. As well as being a physical release for any pent-up tension – nothing makes you forget a shitty day at work better than a hook-up. Additionally, all my friends who are doing that cringe-y thing of trying to make it work with every guy they ever date no matter how unsuitable – they are the ones who aren’t sleeping around. If you’re too busy having a little casual – but responsible – fun, then you’re not crying into your pillow about why Mr (or Miss) Meh hasn’t texted you for three days. Better to have two or three hook-ups on rotation until you meet someone worth investing a little more in.
2. Sleeping around makes you feel sexier
Let’s face it if you’re having regular sex you feel good about yourself. Even though, rationally we know you don’t have to be sexy to get laid whenever you want – just ask Mick Jagger – but it sure does feel sexy, powerful and confident to have local sex.
3. Sleeping around helps you pick up some valuable new skills.
When you sleep around, you acquire some valuable skills. You can figure out how to make the best of a small situation, how to talk dirty, how to phone and book a cab at the same time you’re having sex. These are useful life skills.
Also, I can proudly say that I’ve been told several times that I give the very best blow jobs. I attribute this to both years of studying Cosmo’s sex tips way before it was legal for me to be performing such activities and, later, to performing a lot of them on a lot of different guys. You can also spot guys a mile off who haven’t had that much experience and haven’t yet expanded their skill set. I feel like Federer playing against a sports club amateur. It’s frustrating. Do your future lovers a favor and put in the hard graft now, while you’re young.
4. Sleeping around gives you some excellent stories and some valuable ‘wank bank’ material
Some of my best stories revolve around hook-ups I’ve had. Ahh, those two young athletes who made me feel like a goddess and then fixed my aircon – which had been broken for weeks – afterward. That guy who insisted on having ‘Step Up’ on in the background every time. That dude who turned out to live in a hammock in a tree. Aaah, good times. Some funny, some odd, some so sexy I keep re-playing them in my head like a well-worn VHS. It’s good replaying stories to look back on, just in case all the future holds is blended meals and card games.
5. Sleeping around lets you experiment
When you have a long-term partner, it can be difficult to try out new things without it seeming like a lame attempt to ‘spice up’ your relationship. Unless you’re into spanking, role play, peeing on each other, etc, from the start, it can be kind of awkward and could potentially destroy your relationship entirely if you start doing it after a year or so. Sleeping around when you’re young gives you the chance to try out all this stuff for size and see if it floats your boat. Nobody needs to know you cried when that guy peed on you. The important thing is you found out it was as awful as it sounds and you moved on.
6. Sleeping around is fun
Sometimes people will look down on your hedonistic lifestyle. I say ‘screw them’. If you’re safe and responsible and everyone involved is happy, then it’s all good. Anybody who has a judgment about that is very likely to be quite uptight and very jealous. It’s fun not to be uptight. It’s fun to have sex.
7. We’re never guaranteed old age, so let’s enjoy life’s experiences now!
I never quite understand the people who hold back and restrain themselves when it comes to matters such as this. I know a lot of people who don’t sleep with people despite them both being free and single and both wanting to. Let go of any odd moral beliefs you have about this being sinful – come on, we’re not in the Victorian times anymore – and embrace your youth. Your body is the best it’ll ever be, you have more opportunities now than you’ll likely ever have. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? You might meet the love of your life, the earth might get wiped out by a zombie apocalypse. Seize the moment and do it now.
Are you convinced by the power of great, frequent hook-ups yet? Cupid’s Library’s list of Casual Dating sites might aid in your decision to make the most of your testosterone-addled youth.