Yes, sex can get boring! If you’ve ever been a member of a longstanding twosome, you’ve probably experienced a mind-numbing session in missionary position at one point or another. But how could one of the most fun, fulfilling, relationship-strengthening activities a person can engage in ever be described as “dull” or “tedious”?
Just as a car needs a good oil change after so many miles, any sexual relationship will occasionally require maintenance, too.
It’s not like your relationship needs to be completely reevaluated the first time your sex partner nods off in bed, but repeat occurrences of such behavior require tending to.
Sex can get monotonous when it takes a backseat to a jam-packed life: most likely, you’re exhausted, distracted, or no longer making the conscious effort you did in the beginning of your relationship to keep things exciting.
But it’s up to you and your mate to nip things in the bud when lovemaking becomes lackluster.
Here are three reasons why your once intimate “adventures” can begin to feel more like intimate “responsibilities”:
You’ve gotten too comfortable.
Once you think you’ve figured out what makes your partner tick, it’s quite common to take the backseat and assume that you know it all. Sure, every sexual being has preferences, but our brains (and bodies) are also stimulated by change. It’s important to continually experiment with variations in style, setting, and timing. For example, see if you can pull off a quickie before work (or at work?) instead of only engaging in nighttime rendezvous. The options are endless when searching for ways to spark the fire – be open to anything!
You’re afraid to be honest.
A lie can be as simple as “Yeah, that was great!” when your partner asks to try out a new position, though it was actually more like pulling teeth. The truth is, watching TV out of the corner of your eye during sex will hurt your partner’s feelings more than being honest with him or her will.
Plus, you shouldn’t have to partake in sexual activities that you don’t even enjoy! If you’ve been less than forthcoming, open up and work to develop a permanent line of communication for intimacy.
You take sex for granted.
“Sorry honey, not tonight,” is a phrase no one in a committed relationship likes hearing when in the mood for love. Not that you have to be ready at your partner’s every whim, but consistently turning your significant other down night after night isn’t healthy either. When you’re not in the mood simply because “there’s always tomorrow,” think again: If you take your partner for granted and put his or her sexual needs at the bottom of your priority list, the tables can turn down the road.
So, how do you break out of a sex rut? Here are three suggestions to try out the next time you feel that things are getting a bit stale:
- Pinpoint the problem. If it’s not your lack of attraction or feelings for your partner, determine where the complications are stemming from and make a conscious effort to fix those problem areas.
- Don’t point fingers! If you’re bored, think of ways that you can heat things up. A relationship is an equal partnership – and your partner isn’t always at fault!
- Invest some time and energy into addressing the issue. Get your groove back by planning a romantic night or engaging in an in-depth conversation about what’s working and what’s not.
Follow these guidelines, and you’ll be on your way to some of the spiciest, steamiest sex you’ve never had before!