I’m a 31-year-old male and I’ve never had any problem meeting and dating women. The problem was that I never really found a woman that shared the same interests as myself until Anna came along — my 27-year-old girlfriend.
We’ve been dating for just over a year now, and I cannot get enough of her charm and beauty. I enjoy every moment that I spend with Anna and really feel that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Thanks, findgirlsdating.com to help me.
However, like most things in life, there is a small problem with our relationship. You see, we still have not made love. She insists that she loves me very much, but she wants to wait until marriage before losing her virginity.
Now I would love to please her more than anything by fulfilling her wishes and waiting. But I find it so hard — especially because I am accustomed to having sex in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong; I haven’t had sex with hundreds of women. In fact, I’ve only had six partners throughout my life, but they were all partners with whom I had sex regularly and for a long period of time.
What is a man like myself who’s accustomed to having sex regularly doing with a woman who just won’t put out? How can I convince her to take that next step in the relationship and give into the passion seeded by our relationship? Is marriage the only solution?
Henry Lapin, New Orleans
planting your seeds?
To flower or deflower a virgin, that is the question. Some people feel that it is morally wrong to have premarital sex, while others feel that it is crucially important to get intimate with your partner before diving into a lifetime commitment. So who is right and where should you stand?
Actually, there is no right or wrong when it comes to premarital sex. The right decision depends on the individual’s comfort level, moral beliefs, and needs. If you feel right about sharing an intimate moment with your lover before marriage, then it is the right time.
If, on the other hand, you feel uncomfortable about jumping into the sack before exchanging vows, then the time is wrong. But in any case, it is important to realize that there are both benefits and drawbacks to waiting before indulging in sexual pleasures. It is up to you to measure each and see which ones are more important to you.
Yes, patience is a virtue and waiting until marriage before having sex can save you a lot of heartache and headaches. Here are just a few reasons why an individual might choose celibacy until marriage:
By waiting until marriage before having sex, you earn the respect of your lover. Unfortunately, there is a double standard and it is a lot easier to earn the respect and trust of a lover if you haven’t been around the block as compared to someone who has.
If your partner never had sex with anyone else, then you don’t have to worry about how you measure up to former lovers’ performances.
Expand on foreplay
Just because you can’t have sexual intercourse, that doesn’t mean you can’t play doctor. Couples who refrain from penetration tend to tolerate foreplay and become more imaginative with this pre-phase. This allows the couple to experiment and discover each other’s bodies without having to concentrate on the genital area.
Discover genuine love
By waiting, you can be sure that she’s with you because she sincerely loves you and isn’t confusing lust with genuine love.
Regrettably, waiting around for such a long time might also push one to mistake his eagerness to meet her beavers and commit prematurely. The last thing you want is to convince yourself that marriage is a good idea because you want to have sex so badly.
“I wonder what it would feel like to have sex with another woman?” You may not realize it now, but the thought will sneak its way into your mind a few years after marriage — especially if you were a virgin before you got married. We provide women for dating tonight.
Well, what makes you think that she won’t have the same thoughts running through her head if she’s a virgin before marriage? She will, and remember that the only other thing worse than a sleazy woman is the housewife who never sowed her wild oats and is going through a midlife crisis.
Lifetime of dissatisfaction
You say ketchup, she says catsup. You say tomato, she says tomato. You like oral sex and she likes oral presentations. Well, you get the picture.
Being sexually compatible does not mean that you insert tab A in slot B — anyone can do that. Sexual compatibility means that you are both in tune and enjoy the same pleasures and games. Imagine if, only after marriage, you learn that your wife never gives oral sex, yet you love receiving it. It’s going to be a long life. In the meantime, you can always check out adultfriendfinder.com.
Player’s proverb; “It ain’t premarital sex if you never get married.” Some people feel that premarital sex is morally wrong. Considering that sex is one of the most important components of marriage, don’t you think that one’s sexual needs should be addressed before marriage?
After all, marriage is supposed to be permanent — until death does you part. So you’d better make sure that you’re with someone who satisfies your needs with sex position. Otherwise, you may end up being unfaithful or even divorce; two issues that are a lot worse than premarital sex.
understand her concerns
great, now I have blue balls Now that you have an argument to back up your theory as to why it isn’t so bad to have sex before marriage, it’s time to understand why some men and women feel otherwise. Once you understand these concerns, you can communicate your feelings while keeping hers in mind and hopefully come to a solution:
She still feels too young.
She is not ready to have sex with you.
Religion has a big influence on her life and she feels premarital sex is morally wrong.
She’s afraid of being used.
All women want that first time to be special. Sorry boys, the back seat of your car will be a harder sell.
Just because you’re her boyfriend, that does not give you the right to enter her temple. Only once you address these concerns will she feel open — no pun intended — to accepting your invitation.
So many men assume they have to rush into everything, including sex. Why should men pressure women into making such a commitment? Pushing someone too quickly can have many negative consequences, such as enforcing the notion that you’re solely interested in her for a casual relationship.
When a woman thinks that sex is the only thing on your mind, the game is over. Remember: trust is very hard to attain and very easy to lose. The trick to the game is pretending that sex is the last thing on your mind.
Be patient and let her come to you. When things get heated, don’t give her the opportunity to stop things from going any further. Take the initiative and stop seducing her before she stops you.
How do you gain her trust? It all comes down to a little investment. A man cannot show that he is interested in sleeping with a woman from the get-go. In fact, the man should discontinue any sexual activity when he feels that she is uncomfortable. This will give her a sense of security and she will relax upon the realization that sex is not the most important thing on your mind.
Want to get more than just your hand into her panties? Stop stressing her about it. Stop talking about it. Enjoy her presence, be charming, seduce her, worship her, make her feel like a princess, be loyal, show her that she can trust you, live in the moment, make her feel like she’s on top of the world, and soon she’ll be on top of you.
words of warning
Most men who find themselves in Henry’s situation would immediately fall for the ball and chain trap (consider marriage as the solution).
Sure that may sound fine and dandy, but you’d be getting married for the wrong reasons. Unfortunately, this alternative would only lead to problems down the road.
Remember boys: “The wise never marry. And when they marry, they become otherwise. “